return to real writing

it's been a year since i started subscribing to a paid version of chatgpt. it didn't come cheap. it's equivalent to a month of netflix and hbo max combined. but i believe i'm getting my money's worth. i've since let go of my media streaming subscriptions. i can always torrent the shows i want to watch, but i can't get an untiring and intelligent simulated consciousness elsewhere.

i will admit, my actual long-form writing has gotten duller after a year of depending on chatgpt to do most of my writing. all i've been really doing is to to engineer the substance - "i want a paragraph with a sentence that describes what are we doing, another sentence for why are we doing it, and ending with a sentence that explains why do we need their cooperation" - architect the style - "the language must be cold and technical for a reader that is thoroughly familiar with the nature of work we're doing". and paring down the output into something that seems like i would personally write, because i know next to nothing about the technicalities of monitoring and evaluation and the last thing i want to answer when asked to justify my write up is "because it's what chatgpt came up with".

rawdogging this blog entry has been such a struggle because it's been a while since i wrote without chatgpt. but i need to do this. i used to do this everyday to metabolize the pain of life. nowadays, i just spend most my days brainstorming with a data center located across the globe.

even if i'm largely dependent on artificial intelligence, i want the soul of my writing to come through. so will impose my style. so even if it's standard, i'm stubborn with putting punctuation outside quotation marks, not always doing the rule of three and oxford commas.

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