pareto partner

i'm hardly a good choice. 

at the outset, sure, physically, i'm a decent option. after a conversation, my humor, depth and intellect are a potent combination. after some time, given the right circumstances, my practical value as a domestic partner reveals itself.

but i'm replaceable.

i can imagine a long list of more suitable men than me. granted relationships aren't determined by an absolute measure. it's still finding the right fit between partners. but across demographics, there's a guy that's a better fit than me waiting to be discovered.

i'm a sub-optimal option.

i see my value as a transient figure. the rebound, the shoulder to cry on. under a timer, my limited value shines, while my impending character flaws don't have sufficient time to set an ambush.

i tried a couple of times. deeply invested. tragically failed. it's hard to bounce back from a heartache. it's a place i don't want to return to. so much so that i'd willingly let go of future prospects just so i can keep a semblance of peace. not too happy, but not as devastated either.

at the end of it all, i want happiness for the women i loved. i know them enough to identify what will make them happy. and i believe that's a future where they made the good choice of committing to the more suitable partner.

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