eat me henger

i'm quite unsure whether it is a choice to fit in the world.  there are rules to abide by. i have to learn them. i'm an adult already, so there's less tolerance. shouldn't i have learned etiquette much younger? somehow what feels natural coming out from me is typically out of pocket. i'm finally understanding why prisons make sense. some people are born the right. if not, they have to be guided properly. then somehow we can release the born-wrong, guided-right in the wild. but then there's the aberrations that cause mostly harm. into jail they go. there are people like me in the middle. not bad enough to be imprisoned, but not good enough to deserve freedom. liberty isn't probably an inalienable right. we have to earn it. maybe even be born into it. i sure as hell need some liberties taken away from me so as not to cause further harm. i'm defective in ways that make it difficult to be free. whether it's by choice or by design, i find it hard to defin...

been moving through life mostly defined by the negatives. only remember the bad things they say. embodied it. encumbered. conversations with people say otherwise. they remember my advice, critiques of systemic issues, words with weight. words i've long forgotten i said, but believe could have come from me. i used to not understand performers talking about their haters. i liked these performers. i never understood it, they're doing great, why give haters the air time? but having had haters myself, i start to remember the people i looked up to actually had them too. people that disagreed with them. people that simply just disliked their very existence. i can imagine it must weigh on them to go through each day carrying the burden of continuing to do what fuels the hate. believing in something that others don't see. but then there are people like me that saw their worth. and just like the people who remember the good things i've said, i need to be like them. i mustn't ...