cascade

i don't want to go on dates anymore. 

i've lost my sense to see myself as a viable romantic choice. i'm thoroughly aware of my ineptitude and the apprehension that prevents me from overcoming my failures. i'm convinced other people will be better choices. i've resigned to miserable loneliness as my default option.

conceptually, i know the right things to do. but with failure after failure, never integrating the lessons, it's becoming more difficult to embody the genuine expression of love.

all i see is how much of a mistake i am.

i can be fine with that. i can be the occasional friend. i can be the companion in a pinch, especially when no one else can join the trenches.

but to be the guy one can show off? to be the guy one would desire to be publicly associated with?

i'm a walking red flag. i'm synonymous with warnings. i'm trapped to feel pity over anyone who will suffer the consequences of choosing me.

it is thus my duty to protect others from the dangers i bring.

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