cannibalism

i never really stopped pushing people away somehow. 

i've sort of gotten used to it at this point. i warn people how much of a red flag i am. how i don't have friends. that all i do is work and leave little room for any emotions or human connections.

there are those who still try. not believe the warnings. but it's true though. i am bad news.

i don't like being this. but it's not like i had full control from preventing myself from being this. along the way, i made a shit ton of bad decisions. misguided. driven by hubris. i am what i am now because this is how i suffer the consequences of my actions.

i hate to say it, i love genuine connection, but nobody should have the unfortunate fate of dying by me.

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