ceremony

i don't see myself doing justice to the concept of weddings. 

i've seen enough to know that i'm going to suck at the mainstream wedding ceremonies. the pomp and circumstance, the vows, the reception. yeah sure, i'm a decent public speaker, i'm a good speechwriter, i occasionally organize events for a living. in my head, i have the competence, but in my heart, i don't have the soul for it.

i've been in enough long-term relationships that vague wedding plans have been discussed. a beach wedding, just immediate family and only closest friends, running out from the reception to get away from the pretentious formalities. in my head, i've said "i do" multiple times, but in my heart, i've been served multiple divorce papers.

there are still those hopeful for my married future. seeing me as a stable provider, a passionate partner, a guy any girl would be lucky to have.

what they don't know is that in my head, there is a growing list of disappointments.

and my heart will hurt to admit that their expectations just made my list longer.

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