cycle

i went on holiday for an entire month and just like that the year's about to end.

right around this time last year i was struggling with life. i had reached peak existential burnout. i remember going on travel somewhere nice, a place i've never been, staying at a fancy hotel which had no business being that good in the middle of nowhere. but i wasn't having any of it. i objectively knew i was having a wonderful experience. but subjectively, i felt like a spectator in someone else's body. it felt like a disservice to the body's owner that i'm not having fun over a golden opportunity to see the sights and live the life.

life is long. it's long enough for us to take moments for granted.

life just feels short because we can't remember every instance we were in an elevator, on the passenger seat of a car, crossing the road, paying for lunch. we just remember the highlights. not every day in school, but how fun our school friends were. not every day at work, but how we generally felt about our boss. life gives us a lot. and sometimes we're not receptive. sometimes we just have to go through the motions.

because time moves ever forward. and even when a "year" is about to end. it's one of many. a new beginning waits right around the corner.

with or without us.