return from retrograde

i'm lost. 

i find myself surrounded by things i used to like. now i'm unable to like new things.

finding comfort in the same old shit. being afraid of trying something out. it's such a drag.

i'm not motivated to consume content. it just feels like something i have to do. because i have a phone, a social media account, people to follow. they're just there, so might as well.

creating feels more rewarding. making a meal. making memories. making people laugh. an active existence. adding value to the world.

this is going to be some sappy shit, but i really do believe it stems from love.

i'm lost because i'm unable to love.

no, not the roses, holding hands and performative displays of affection. that's not my jam. what i mean is the priceless kind of love. the purest expression of your soul. you just can't put a finger on it, but when it's love, it's love. the kind of love that significant memories are made of. the kind of love that makes you forget about yourself for a moment to focus on embodying that love.

and unfortunately, the kind of love that dies in a world that has given up on sincerity in exchange for pragmatic survival.