rambling dud

for a country with a shit ton population density, it's difficult to get a decent mentor. it only sounds nice when median age is in the mid-20s, but that also means there's an abundance of misguided youth fumbling their way through young adulthood. it's not like we developed a strong culture in the past where our elders were well-learned or at least had proper foundational knowledge. it seems like all they had was authority over folk wisdom, and when the youth were enlightened with the influx of internet information, every age group were just as misguided as everyone else.

i talk about this because i regret the process of awkwardly growing into the kept together mess i am right now. a lot of my life lessons could've been gained with less devastating consequences. ideally as we age, our existential hazards get progressively threatening and we have relatively wisened adults - be it our parents, teachers or community leaders - to foster a conducive environment where we are taught the right thing to succeed, but still failure from trying isn't as disastrous. accomplishing that is as complicated as how long-winded the sentence was that tried to explain it.

ugh. i struggle to write.

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