a first for the new

it's been weeks and i haven't written anything this year. this is a "fuck it" entry. 

i don't always have something to write about. things happen, feelings come and go. there's no strong desire to really capture them in words, despite the profound rumination over my experiences. perhaps it's just a lack of discipline to get into a writing habit. perhaps it's a fear of not being able to pour my heart and exert my mind as much as i do other entries. perhaps it's exhaustion from writing a record number of speeches for work last year. most of which were written just as i was about to go to bed - hours before its delivery.

i guess when there's no sense of relevant urgency nor threat of consequences, there's no real driving force to publish. but this is a "fuck it" entry, so whatever i come up with, i'm still going to click on "publish"

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