being used

i want to quit my job already.

i haven't been doing my best work in the past couple of months. at least compared to the last decade where my natural ability to be analytical and eloquent were useful. nowadays, i've been having difficulty juggling multiple tedious tasks. i haven't been motivated do actual work. it always feels like a struggle to get through every single day. work doesn't excite me as much as it used to be. i need medication to feel any semblance of motivation. but really what the drugs do is numb my negativity.

i just really want to quit everything.

in theory my work is great. but the actual implementation of what we're working towards is unappealing. i don't like serving the vested interests of whoever wishes to partner with us. they promise benefits packaged in altruism, but i can see through the bullshit.

and that's why i've been miserable at this job. it's all the demand of the corporate world but without the same perks - which don't interest me anymore.

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