turd place

somehow i've fallen off the wagon once again.

i used to have my life together. i had good habits. but somehow life's demands piled up more than i could handle and now i'm just constantly ticking off someone else's to-do list and neglecting mine.

dying now sounds like a swell idea. it doesn't make any meaningful difference. whoever i am in the eyes of others isn't truly me. friends and family will mourn the death of the person in the casket or urn, but i don't feel any connection with him. granted, i'm responsible for building that person. it's my actions that resulted in everyone else's perceptions.

in a sense, choosing to die is such a cheap escape.

i'm eluding responsibility. a fitting end for a piece of shit like me.

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