four fifths compromise

the pain becomes more and more unbearable.

thankfully, pretending doesn't get harder. it's like a pedal i put my foot on, i liven up, people are convinced i'm fine. doing so depends on a finite resource. i don't know how much i still have. but it doesn't matter. being positive is good for others. the world doesn't need another downer. people have their own problems, bothering with someone else's isn't the wisest decision. not that i would trust the world to know how to deal with me either. i'm barely dealing with myself. i don't want to be unfair. i don't want to be a burden.

i don't want to take from others anymore. it was fun while it lasted. but i don't want it to end that way. i won't be brining my material belongings to the grave. it's only reasonable to empty myself out for the benefit of others around me. i'm running myself into destruction for the creation of a better tomorrow. i'm slaving away for everyone else's liberation.

because all i really want is freedom from my own suffering.

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