and cut

i get insanely triggered from any fictional narrative presenting infidelity.

it could be a predatory man seeking masculine dominance by wooing an already-committed woman, or it could be a desperate woman seeking validation from all-comers despite claiming love for someone. it's all about pressing the right buttons and satisfying your personal desires. i utterly detest it.

i've been there before. i had several chances to break my bond of trust with a woman i devote myself to. i'm fully aware that i'm gifted with a disarming charm that could win me a multitude of women. i've been tempted to upgrade to a better lover or throw away a deteriorating relationship. but i don't like being the enemy that i hate. my loyalty to the rule is worth its weight in gold. cause i simply am a man of my word.

i don't like revisiting that place. i don't like having to make a choice between a woman i love now versus a woman that promises to love me better. i don't like having to keep watch of other men desiring to dip their fingers in my pie. i don't like visualizing any more murder fantasies of two naked people in bed.

even if i know it's all a figment of imagination, it feels real to me dammit. i know what it's like. i know how dark of a place it is. unfortunately for me, even after turning off the screen, i live that reality.

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