revisiting break up number 4

i was insanely in love with her.

as with everything i throw myself into, i give nothing less than a hundred percent. i welcomed the challenge. i was constantly pushed to the limit. it made me feel so alive. when i had thought i had given my best, i keep finding out that i'm still managing to keep getting better.

it was ecstasy.

so much has happened in the span of a couple of years. highest of highs, lowest of lows. it felt like an entire lifetime's worth of experiences. could've gone forever. of course, i had wanted to. but it's a break up i'm revisiting now and not another anniversary.

credit for the both of us, we worked the hardest that we could. we were better lovers to each other in a comparatively short time from our respective previous lovers.

that's what perhaps drew us together. our purposeful drive to be the best versions of ourselves. we weren't perfect. we knew that. that's why we put in a great deal of effort. it could've been harder as we were both lost, but we found home in the company of each other. the days in our individual lives are long and hard but we knew that as soon as we step into the special place we've made for ourselves, the heaviness of life is momentarily lifted.

i was insanely in love with her.

but insanity means losing touch of reality. but insanity means needing cushioned walls and a straitjacket to avoid getting hurt. but insanity means having a ration of medication to stay subdued. but insanity means being deprived of freedom because you've lost all control.

but insanity means doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

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