four walls

this is where i go when i'm troubled and i need to work out things by myself to gain a deeper understanding of my own complexities. i could go to a confidant who cares, i could pray to a higher being, i could seek professional help. but instead i do this - write as if it's a personal and private diary, knowing fully that someone will eventually get their eyes on this.

that i guess is my intention.

i feel that there's never really an appropriate time to bare yourself to others. we're always knee deep in something else, perhaps a more fun thing to do, perhaps a more serious matter to deal with. the thing with interactions is that it's a negotiation of attention. i'm not an entitled prick that will force others to give me their listening ear. that's a disservice to the both of us, and wasting time is the last thing i want to happen.

so here's my blog.

anyone who cares enough to give me their attention will have to deliberately open a web browser and type an actual address - a practice that has been passé since the advent of news feeds on social media. it won't feel as though i'm imposing my narratives on anyone, it won't feel as though it's a chore for people to hear me out. it's an open door as much as i'm an open book. so this barrier to entry is indeed necessary, cause people will have to give my thoughts the time and effort. with that i'm grateful to every single soul that has done that.

even if i hate your guts.