okay cupid

i never felt the pressure to have someone on valentine's day. just like any other special day, it all feels too contrived. my calling card has always been to make every day special, and perhaps corollary to that i try to make supposed special days feel ordinary.

but by all means, people should fall in love. it's grand, it's beautiful, it's swallows you whole and leaves you with next to nothing - and that's awesome. everyone should find someone that will make them feel nervously excited, self-consciously preparing to look as best as possible, to second guess yourself on whether you're making sense or doing the right thing - and all should overcome that to form one of the most rewarding relationships they could have.

i've been in love enough times to know what works and what doesn't for me. and i'm not particularly keen in falling in love again anytime soon. i'm not actively in the market yet. but that's not how falling in love works, it's out of your hands for the most part, other than choosing the people you get to spend time with. so should an opportunity present itself, i'm taking the plunge once more because i'm more confident in becoming a better lover. i probably am still shit at it, but love was never a competition, love is a vocation that you choose to put in the time and the effort to grow the rapport you have with your special other.

but staying in love is an entirely different thing, there's a lot of considerations when it comes to choosing someone you'll stick with until the very end. you're a tandem that will build on each other's strengths and compensate for each other's weaknesses. together, you must wave the same flag and stand for the same ground. it's so complex that it is actually a whole lot of hard work, so much so that trying to pull off a romantic gesture on whatever special day should be the least of your worries.

because having someone on valentine's day is easy, but keeping them through enough days of the year to spend another valentine's day is the hardest part.