christmas hip hop special

i just want to get the season over and done with.

there's still a shitload of heavy lifting to be done in the work in progress of this story of mine. being forced to take time to slow down feels so limiting, relaxing feels like such a crime. i've perhaps made it a habit to rush through the next day until such time i no longer feel any pain. it's a constant struggle, the weight of the world felt like it doubled. i'm itching to get to the end, maybe so much so that i lowkey want to be dead.

but no scratch that, i've always been open about my morbid sensibilities. i've always approached it with an offbeat sense of positivity.

in a lot of ways, not only do i want this season to be over and done with, but more so i just want to rush through life, cause self-actualization is such a motherfucking myth.

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