pyromantic

she will be my last charity case.

yeah sure, how dare i call someone as pretty as her a "charity case", she in fact might be even making me her "charity case" for putting up with someone as ugly and horrible as me, right? but know first how she truly is deep inside: see through her insecurities and façades, understand her proclivities and usual thought processes, account for her history of toxic relationships and behavior - and then tell me she isn't a charity case.

i truly loved her. more than anything in the world. i had wanted our relationship to be my magnum opus. i endured her unbelievably short temper, her virulent remarks about anyone who has done her wrong, her vainglorious retelling of her triumphs, her overly dramatic portrayal of her struggles. these were common occurrences because she needed to keep sheltering her ego.

and all i wanted was for her was to be real, at least with me, a man she claims to love. and to be fair, there were moments of genuineness from her. i felt a deep sense of compassion every time she would open up about her weaknesses, i was proud every time she took steps to address her true issues such as reconnecting with her estranged father. it was fulfilling for me to see her become a better version of herself as our relationship grew.

but then she betrayed me for money with a married man while carrying a kid she claims to be mine.

my ego was hurt, my aspirations were torn, my sense of reality was shattered. and woe truly is me.

that's crossing the line, so it's with great fury that i needed a hoe to be gone.

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