mirages

i never truly loved her.

to her credit, there are positive things about her - things that made me like her in the first place, things about her that made me want to keep the relationship running for every speed bump, roadblock or sinkhole we encounter. objectively she does make for a decent girlfriend given those traits alone.

unfortunately, human beings are package deals where the good will always come with the bad - and she had plenty to show.

some were mere minor annoyances, easily forgivable. some where questionable character flaws that may be managed with the right willingness to work things out. and she was a smart girl - she knew how bad she truly is, so she either overcompensated by being generous with other things or projected onto others the dirt she truly had to protect herself. as time went on, i got to know her more, i got a bigger picture of who she truly was.

however, the end of our relationship wasn't a case of the cons outweighing the pros. i adamantly believe that love conquers all. unfortunately, there were things she never told me and things she didn't want me to know - that i had to find out because of her carelessness to hide evidence of how much of a whore she truly was.

i never truly loved her, because the woman i actually loved was just a figment of my imagination.

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