grade of the fireflies

i'll have to move on eventually.

this new phase of my life, i still have to get into the swing of things. but i'll get by, i'm sure satan moves in mysterious ways and i will always be right where i'm supposed to be.

in my early 20s, i learned to be a self-sustaining individual. comfortable in my own skin, not dependent on other people for happiness. i had an unwavering sense of security that exuded overconfidence. i thought i was impervious to insecurities - until i met my recent ex-girlfriend.

nobody has ever got through my defenses. i respected the hell out of her for being able to accomplish that. and that, i believe, i needed in my life.

i wanted to be burned down, i wanted my foundations rocked, i wanted to be pushed to my limit because i firmly believe that by doing so, a better man will rise from the ashes. and perhaps now i still can't see that paragon of positive transformation yet. but given such fallout of nuclear proportions, even the most ardent optimists might not see the good in me yet.

but pressure makes diamonds out of coal. and for me, there's no task too tall.

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