cryogenesis
i'd like to not exist for a while.
just a while, i'll be back.
but for now, i'm terribly overwhelmed with all the life i have to live. i feel like i don't want to accomplish anything. no workout progress, no video game progress. nothing.
i tried going on holiday for a month. but somehow found myself finding something else to work on. my body looks for work, but my soul wishes to rest.
it's been some time since i returned from what i had hoped to be a recuperative retreat. but now, i'm back to being just as tired as before.
maybe it's a new normal. maybe i should accept that i'll be constantly exhausted. that the worst of me will always be exposed. i know myself well enough that i really have no room in the real world. good thing i love working hard because that's the only way i could reasonably integrate.
but then again i feel like i don't want to accomplish anything.
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