clang associations

social media is such a front.

despite disparaging derisions on the disingenuousness that social media promotes, i'm still not entirely above it. there's still a degree of curatedness in what i decide to press "publish" on. i sure as shit am not as colorful as may seem to be, because my life has been pretty melancholically monochromatic recently. i might as well be a person with disability with my inability to sincerely perceive any form of vibrancy. i could have just easily printed out all of my recent blog entries and attach it as supporting documents in my admission papers to a mental health institution.

that ought to get me some discounts in food establishments, cinemas and parking.

i definitely need a good self-care routine now cause somehow i've lost a dangerous amount of weight, i've had bruises that lasted me for months, and i've grown eyebags too big to even fit in the overhead compartment. but in a lot of ways, it's perhaps a matter of me shooting myself in the foot. for all the blame i've thrown, part of me recognizes i have my fair share of faults, and there's also this extremely irrational part of me that has difficulty discerning a reasonable amount of punishment i have to impose on myself - a sort of self-flagellating, but then again the satanic faith doesn't believe in that.

for all the procedures to promote propaganda to portray a positive persona, sometimes silence serves us the serenity for the required respite to remain on the road to recovery.

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