intermission

the only two times my blog is read - first if i post its link on facebook, and second if my favorite human being in the entire world decides to open it.

so really, none of what i write and pour my heart into actually ever gets to any reader. this serves the intended purpose of having a personal journal, with the unintended effect of relative privacy. i hope someday this blog would serve as a supplementary reading material for those that wish to understand me - but in an age as selfish as we are in now, i highly doubt anyone would obsessively read each and every single entry unless they actually love me. and i've yet to meet anyone who is sincerely capable of that.

however, the freedom that nobody reads what i write here is wonderful. my sincere, honest, and rawest thoughts are all here. i don't have to be funny like i try on facebook, i don't have to be artsy like i try on instagram, i don't have to relevant like i try on twitter. this blog is me. and it's therapeutic to have an avenue that allows me to be honest with myself and stay centered with who i am, what i stand for, and what i could be.

re-reading my writing, i've grown to have a deeper appreciation of my life. i've seen how philosophies have matured; i've seen how i process my pain from my struggle with depression, alienation and meaninglessness; i've seen how i'm actually miserable with my former partner, and how i've become grateful of my first girlfriend; i've been seeing my descent into becoming the man on fire that has nothing but vengeance for my former partner and her bastard. having reflected on all of that, i earnestly look forward to the next chapters of my life.

now onto the next page turn

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