mathletics

the older we get, we learn to regard time differently. i used to think the shit i was into was everything to me. a decade ago, two decades ago. i was so certain that what i wanted to do will define me. and that's youth, i guess. we're a bunch of nobodies trying to fit in an already-established world made by adults for us. growing up, most of our actions were dictated by people older than us. and so it's understandable that we're so desperate for the certainty of our identity. we give it our all. we were all gas, no breaks.

until we get it... and that's it?

the thing about climbing a mountain, on the ascent, we're focused on the peak. but once we hit the summit, we find that we're at the top of one of many.

with age, we find that there are more things we give our energies to. we more things that we're certain will define us. but with time we also find that how we define ourselves don't fit the circumstances we're in.

the older we get, time feels less like a definitive measure, and more like a complicated cycle.

we keep finding something that excites us, we keep pouring ourselves to it, we sleep, we wake up, we repeat. once the novelty is gone, we live long enough to see that the moments that used to punctuate our life are actually a series of patterns with slight variations to context. that's why there's a universality to myths and archetypes. we may live in the newest millennium, but our cycles are no different than those that came before us.

so as individuals, we may see the passage of time as a marathon of defining ourselves. but as a collective consciousness of the human race that trails from lance armstrong, to albert camus, to alexander the great, and to the many unnamed souls forgotten by history books - we've already been defined.