presently mindful

my depression stopped being a thing after i started working on my physical health.

for a good part of the past decade, i really haven't been peachy keen internally. i kept finding myself unreasonably dissatisfied with life. there were things to be grateful for, but the misery of bad aspects weighed on me.

being better now, i wish i could've brought my present headspace to my past self. but that's just the same kind of mindset where i would've been a better student had i gotten the chance to return to class with the knowledge i have now. i should've lived in the present better and faced my problems properly.

now's the chance to apply the lessons learned. if i really did learn.

the older we get, it seems there's more of the past to run away from. but i think the power of the past is our own creating. only we make a big deal out of it when it still haunts us to this day. our brain has a limited capacity to deal with the current situation, and if we add the past into the mix, we live less in the present.

it must be a balance. being guided from the past to live in the present oriented towards the future.

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