ted talk

i'm not a good storyteller.

people around me have a lot to say about what they've gone through. some are fascinating, some are annoying. i know more about them than they know about me. oftentimes i'm just the listener, but that's not why i'm not a good storyteller. i understand the mechanics of setting up a premise, building up tension and delivering a conclusion - or at times, lack thereof.

i'm a bad storyteller because i can barely recall any core memories. it's probably the drugs or concussions, but it's likely a result of severe self-hatred that i conditioned myself to detach from my past.

oftentimes, i'm surprised of stories about me. i depend on what's left of my previous social circles to help build an image of myself. however, it not the complete picture. of course it skews positively because friends are my sample size. on the other hand, my enemies would certainly have a different story.

i used to be glad i didn't have to remember the bad things about me. burning bridges was necessary to protect my fragile ego.

but if i disown the disgusting, then i'm only living half a life.

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