lack the ripper

at the end of the path i see myself either abandoned by friends and family or in the warm company of strangers.

i notice that i don't do well with people i deal with regularly. i'm not consistently and sustainably amiable. all i'm really good for is the occasional profound encounter. i'll deeply understand people, sometimes more so than they understand themselves, but i'm not really their best friend. i'm just sharing my talent of having a good sense of whatever someone is thinking of or going through. it would have been nice if their best friends had that skill, that would've made their relationships invaluable. but 9 times out of 10, i don't share their values.

i'm a functional outsider.

i don't believe in the same things the same way. i will have vastly different perspectives that nobody wholly understands. i'm never the ally because i always consider the validity of the enemy.

it's really best to keep my distance with people. that way, i have a constantly refilled well of patience so i'm not compelled to be myself with them. i can force myself to only show one side of me - the agreeable side.

otherwise, they will have to forcibly keep their distance from me. as they should. i'm not really the friend nor family they would've wanted me to be

because in reality, i'm just as much of a stranger now as when they had first met me.

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