promo punk

i'm less likely to win awards because i don't like living my life for others.

promotions are coming up in the office again, and there seems to be unanimous support for me to go for it. that's flattering, but no. i don't like career progress for progress' sake. i get a higher paycheck, i get bigger responsibilities, i have a nicer title - so what? the value is obvious, yes. but i don't see the meaning.

i like nice stuff, they require money to get, but i don't need nice stuff. missing out isn't that bad of a feeling. there are worse situations, like a toothache, or holding your pee for 3 hours. not being able to buy expensive stuff isn't a tragedy.

i like power, they require work to get, but i don't need power. it's fine that i'm not at the center of important things in the workplace. it's not my head on the line, i can keep my appendages intact. my sanity is more important than my legacy. not being a boss isn't a horrible situation.

i like prestige, they require influence to get, but i don't need prestige. i've always believed in dressing up for the job that you want, not the job that you have, but in my career so far, i've always been told to not overdo it. i can't look better than my boss, they say. seems to me, i can artificially inflate my status by putting on more expensive clothes. i don't care for the perks that prestige brings. not having a nice business card doesn't devalue my worth.

i'm sure to disappoint my supporters. but if they don't sympathize with my perspective, then i shouldn't be having any business with them. i'm not in a rush for any higher positions. i want to be able to enjoy the remaining years of my youth. there are people out there that have higher ambitions and higher propensity for sacrifice, they should be first in line. i didn't want the position i'm currently in, but i wanted the work that came along with it, that's why i'm effective at what i do. i'm not at a point where i want the work that comes with being a boss. i don't want the command responsibility, i don't want the long hours. 

besides, in government, any salary is never worth the corresponding workload. i couldn't care less about the salary grade, it's never going to be enough to pay for the heart bypass surgery anyway.

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