what having been cheated on has taught me
well that was a hell of a crash course on the reality of adult relationships.
i was really decided on a life-long commitment, but my partner decided that it was in her best interest to take advantage of an expedient method of acquiring wealth. the experience defined my belief on how relationships work. when you have to face the responsibilities of adulthood, relationships aren't just about feelings of admiration, of chemistry, of endearment.
you're only as good as the value you bring and not the value you posses.
i'm a decently valuable man - i don't earn a whole lot, so i'm wise with my expenses; i don't carry a huge level of prestige, so i'm disciplined with my pursuits of growth. my career isn't one which will net me a boatload of cash, instead i stand to gain rich experiences that lead to self-actualization. it's both a selfish and selfless cause. the time i spend in my career fulfills me and it benefits society at large. however, when it's time to pool resources with a partner or for a family, my level of satisfaction in life and gratitude people have for the work that i do won't pay the bills. as evidenced by my experience, potential doesn't matter when present needs are paramount.
so if i'm extremely lucky, i'll be limited to a decently valuable woman. probably one who earns less or immaterially more than me. probably one less likely to be poached by predatory men that have had more success. one which will understand the peculiarities of my source of income. one willing to put in the effort to work around the limitations. that's what constitutes a keeper.
unfortunately, it's something you can't tell from mere attraction. it's who you like that will direct you to those whom can commit to - depending on your values, it can be a few or a wide selection of people that may or may not share the same desire for a relationship with you. some partners are more optimal than others, but it gets to a point where the difference among best options are a matter of deciding which trait are you willing to do away with. this big of a decision necessitates going to the drawing board and defining who you are what you stand for. but life isn't lived on paper. we have to go out, see it in practice, make adjustments, celebrate your wins, learn from your losses.
and if i were to never succeed, then i have no regrets that i didn't shortchange myself from living a full life.
i was really decided on a life-long commitment, but my partner decided that it was in her best interest to take advantage of an expedient method of acquiring wealth. the experience defined my belief on how relationships work. when you have to face the responsibilities of adulthood, relationships aren't just about feelings of admiration, of chemistry, of endearment.
you're only as good as the value you bring and not the value you posses.
i'm a decently valuable man - i don't earn a whole lot, so i'm wise with my expenses; i don't carry a huge level of prestige, so i'm disciplined with my pursuits of growth. my career isn't one which will net me a boatload of cash, instead i stand to gain rich experiences that lead to self-actualization. it's both a selfish and selfless cause. the time i spend in my career fulfills me and it benefits society at large. however, when it's time to pool resources with a partner or for a family, my level of satisfaction in life and gratitude people have for the work that i do won't pay the bills. as evidenced by my experience, potential doesn't matter when present needs are paramount.
so if i'm extremely lucky, i'll be limited to a decently valuable woman. probably one who earns less or immaterially more than me. probably one less likely to be poached by predatory men that have had more success. one which will understand the peculiarities of my source of income. one willing to put in the effort to work around the limitations. that's what constitutes a keeper.
unfortunately, it's something you can't tell from mere attraction. it's who you like that will direct you to those whom can commit to - depending on your values, it can be a few or a wide selection of people that may or may not share the same desire for a relationship with you. some partners are more optimal than others, but it gets to a point where the difference among best options are a matter of deciding which trait are you willing to do away with. this big of a decision necessitates going to the drawing board and defining who you are what you stand for. but life isn't lived on paper. we have to go out, see it in practice, make adjustments, celebrate your wins, learn from your losses.
and if i were to never succeed, then i have no regrets that i didn't shortchange myself from living a full life.
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