wall of words

i like texting. it's the right kind of commitment with communication. i can put the discussion down on hold when i don't feel like it. i can put people on read to make a statement without saying anything at all. i can afford to have the talk on suspended animation due to time or schedule differences and have it feel like one whole cohesive conversation spread throughout several days or weeks.

but texting is also a tool to temper my relationships.

the deeper i go into a relationship, the more regularly occurring phone calls, video calls or physical interactions happen. and that's just a lot of investment for me. and yeah sure, i will do that but only to a limited number of people, of which i can only count with one finger.

so to an extent, i do keep people at bay. it's particularly hard to be vulnerable and let anyone in. especially being in such a state of great pain.

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