infinitely stoned

we have reached the endgame.

call it fate, call it karma - call it whatever. i'm just lucky to be where i am and where she is right now. the shit that we have gone through in the last 9 months have been nothing short of poetic. justice will never be served, that much i've conceded to long ago. it's a game where nobody wins, it's a game where you simply choose how you're going to lose.

i'm the farthest thing from proud. as a kid, i've always longed for a time machine, and it couldn't come at a better moment than right now. but sometimes you just have to roll with the twist and turns that our life journeys take, and really we can never tell at present how our circumstances will shape us in the future. so will i ever emerge victorious from suffering this loss right now? or is it simply a matter of not having enough hospital beds when you need it most?

i can't see into the future of various possibilities, nor do i have the luxury of jumping into alternate realities.

i have no choice but to live in the here and now, so whatever high or low i will openly avow.

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