blind horizons

sometimes you just find things in life you want to glom onto as long as humanly possible. but with enough previous disappointments, you can't help but be haunted by the nagging fear of its fleetingness.

it's a struggle. a temporarily rewarding one at that. but a nuisance nonetheless.

it helps to be grateful for the here and now, it keeps you sane and reminds you that life can be full, vivid, and beautiful. but i've learned long ago that a hopeful disposition is vulnerable to saddening situations. and yeah sure, i once said "fuck it" and took the risk. it was indeed fulfilling, but my weariness grows from maintaining optimism despite the seeming contrariety of the circumstances leading to the outcome. you simply can't help but question whether is it truly worth it?

but hope has to come somewhere though. and i could always fool myself into thinking that it's going to be alright, but there's never really an assurance is there?

so we keep grinding - maybe this time it turns out better, maybe it's another dud. but we don't really have a choice but to move forward. and perhaps it's something to look forward to - a tomorrow that comes, the first of last, a certain journey into the unknown.

because if i stop journeying towards yonder, how will i know if the grass will be greener?

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