hireling of happiness

i've been getting into the swing of things with granting wishes for people.

it's nice cause i get to get out and do something with my life that i feel i missed out on because the comfort of my couch was too cushy. it's great cause i get to give people the opportunity to have what they've always wanted with very little effort on my part other than carving out time from a mostly empty (but slowly filling) schedule and shelling some cash for parking and gas. all in all, it's grand really, i wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

i'm the granter of wishes, the toucher of lives, the dispatcher of desire, the hireling of happiness.

i must say i've found the sweet spot where my interpersonal ineptitude meets the social demands of other people. cause i'm largely an abrasive asshole with very little in the way of personability, add to that my recent stint as the man on fire has largely left me surreptitiously sullen, i can easily be classified as a shit human being. but bringing people to places they've been meaning to go to or letting them do things they've wanted to masks my personal failings - i'm suddenly esteemed as a decent person. now i don't necessarily wish this assumed role of mine to offset how horrible of human being i actually am. the positive impact of whatever good things i do will stand on its own regardless of my degree of reverence. i simply just get off at being able to leave people happy.

keyword there is "leave"

cause i've seen it time and time again, i'm the worst candidate as a constant companion. sooner or later, the places will stop being new, the activities will be boring, and all they'll have left is some guy that finds great joy in dark humor, keeps bringing up their flaws and insecurities as an attempt to figure people out, and just a generally depressed dickhead that feels an enormously empty existence.

because beneath this shining armor is knight that's hollow.