yangchow

i find myself talking to the same person every single day for the past couple of weeks. and it's not out of an obligation to do so, nor that i've simply gotten used to it and turned it into a routine. it's been ages since i last had someone whom i really looked forward having a conversation with.

and i say "conversation" as a two-way thing - in that i like hearing from the person, and i also like being heard by that person. because a lot of times my relationships are quite lopsided, it's either they're gushing, ranting, or pontificating while i listen and probe further; or i gush, rant, or pontificate while the other person desperately tries to butt in or exit the interaction. so it's either overwhelming or disappointing to maintain social engagements. and it's grand to have someone whom i consider a peer in a lot of ways. it's the right amount of everything - the laughs, the intellectual stimulation, the raw emotions. suffice it to say i'm excited in every chance i get to talk with this person.

perhaps it's one of the hallmarks of a good relationship, one that i hope to keep around. regardless though, i've grown to adopt the mindset of being grateful with the present and not to expect from the future. and it's allowed me to really focus on what i can bring to the table, rather than how i want to shape the relationship, because we have very little control of things outside ourselves. really it's how we roll along the troughs and valleys of life that spells the difference.

nevertheless, come hell or high water, i'll do my best to make it count with her.