rigging the gaslight

after being cheated on with an older guy by my former partner who was also cheated on in her previous relationship, i started questioning who else out there is cheating on their wives? who else out there is cheating on their boyfriends? and how likely will the victims of cheating turn into the perpetrators themselves?

when i see high ranking government officials on tv, i wonder how many mistresses have they had? and do they also take a shit where they eat and fuck around with their employees too? will i turn out to be like them in the future? (probably not half as successful as they are, nor as wealthy, but i mean, the capacity to juggle more than one woman at the same time)

perhaps my one-track mind can't fathom having to balance both a professional and personal life. i can't be a competent high ranking government official and at the same time be philandering with my employees. i will compartmentalize, yes, turn off my personal brain during office hours, turn off my work brain the moment i clock out of the building. that probably makes me a dullard.

and yeah, even after breaking off from my former partner, she still manages to make me question my reality as if gaslighting me during the entire span of the scam she called a "relationship" wasn't enough.

but no, we wouldn't want to be dragged into the ditch the bitch is in.

i can question the existence of true love, the veracity of matrimonial vows, or even the basic concept of common decency, but there's a reason why i took up economics in college and not philosophy. we'll just have to keep assuming that all things are held equal, unless proven otherwise.

and should there be incriminating evidence that surfaces, we'll make sure somebody will sink in exchange.

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