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"fingers crossed, it's not yours" - see this is where everyone gets it wrong

there's no need to wish upon any star, because they have burned out already. there won't be any twinkle in my eyes, nor any warm regard to the situation. this much the universe should know: no matter the circumstance, the kid will never be mine.

nobody will ever understand the gravity of the situation. you can't simply take the pregnancy, the infidelity, the manipulation, the mistreatment, and the abuse in isolation. they all spell a unique scenario that probably no language on this planet has a particular word for.

no wait, the english language does, and it's the word "fucked"

i got fucked over, that's fair to say. she got fucked by her sugar daddy, that's also fair to say. likewise, she will get fucked by a life of being a single mother (barring any miscarriages - fingers crossed) and having her bastard deal with its own set of daddy issues.

it is indeed fair to say that even without my intervention, she's on a roller coaster ride of a life of misery. but then again, nobody messes with me who doesn't get supremely fucked over. she can be smart about it and preemptively prevent a predicament by steering clear away from me. corollary to that, she could play it smarter by banking on my human and fatherly instincts to pursue her, as i've always done, to do right by what could possibly be my child. how could i not love my own flesh and blood? how uncouth of me to let my own kid grow up incomplete? what kind of irresponsible father am i for not providing for my own kid?

see this is where everyone gets it wrong - no matter the circumstance, the kid will never be mine.

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