closure
breakups are puzzles - sometimes couples have the luxury to piece it together, sometimes it's left there with one of the partners withholding the missing pieces to complete it.
questions on where i might've been wrong, what could i have done better, what was the tipping point - none of the answers matter to me. because infidelity will always be inexcusable.
it's not like it's her first time at the rodeo - she has already cheated on her previous boyfriend, she claimed alcohol was involved, but i doubt she's continually drunk for a couple of months or so. and anyone who blames inebriation for doing shitty things either fail to see that they're shitty people themselves, or are fully aware of their own shittiness that they need to blame something that can't defend itself - like a chemical compound.
she has already had a history of using men for material gain, she had philandered with her college professor for an academic advantage. (you wonder if she truly deserved that latin honors) she claimed that she outgrew it and she wouldn't do it anymore cause she's "mature" now, but seeing as she's still at it by stringing in a sugar daddy, then she simply outright lied to me.
back then she had already warned me that she was a bad person - and i answered foolishly "i still don't see the bad in you, so i'm not leaving you" - i lied. cause despite my statement's conditionality, even when the bad in her presented itself to me clearer than a searing hot sunny day, i stayed knowing full well that i will be badly burned. because that's how love works.
and even when i caught her red handed cheating on me, i didn't confront her until after making sure she has had a healthy dinner and that i had safely delivered her home.
because even inmates on death row deserve a last meal.
questions on where i might've been wrong, what could i have done better, what was the tipping point - none of the answers matter to me. because infidelity will always be inexcusable.
it's not like it's her first time at the rodeo - she has already cheated on her previous boyfriend, she claimed alcohol was involved, but i doubt she's continually drunk for a couple of months or so. and anyone who blames inebriation for doing shitty things either fail to see that they're shitty people themselves, or are fully aware of their own shittiness that they need to blame something that can't defend itself - like a chemical compound.
she has already had a history of using men for material gain, she had philandered with her college professor for an academic advantage. (you wonder if she truly deserved that latin honors) she claimed that she outgrew it and she wouldn't do it anymore cause she's "mature" now, but seeing as she's still at it by stringing in a sugar daddy, then she simply outright lied to me.
back then she had already warned me that she was a bad person - and i answered foolishly "i still don't see the bad in you, so i'm not leaving you" - i lied. cause despite my statement's conditionality, even when the bad in her presented itself to me clearer than a searing hot sunny day, i stayed knowing full well that i will be badly burned. because that's how love works.
and even when i caught her red handed cheating on me, i didn't confront her until after making sure she has had a healthy dinner and that i had safely delivered her home.
because even inmates on death row deserve a last meal.
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