20/20 mirror

sometimes i just want to break down cause i very rarely get the appropriate emotional support. i can see people try, they're there, i appreciate that. but a diesel engine can't run on unleaded fuel.

it's harrowingly alienating to never truly felt understood at your worst times. i've given up on trying. we're all too self-absorbed and especially for someone as overly complicated as i am, i need a shitload of understanding. i'm sincerely waiting to meet at least a single human being that will make me feel like i'm seen the way i truly am. no, not someone who will routinely kiss my ass for my numerous petty triumphs, nor someone who will antagonize me for how horrible of a human being i am. just someone who can correct the disturbingly distorted discernment of my psyche.

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