most sad

i lost my fire for work.

back then, i used to be excited to go to the office, take on new roles, make an impact. but my work performance suffered in quality in 2018, that i had to pay for it.

it was understandable, i had misplaced priorities last year. i fell too foolishly in love. i unnecessarily gave too much of myself with a disproportionate return to me. i hemorrhaged money, i lost a lot of sleep - and other facets of my life suffered because of it. but i guess that's how unconditional love works.

nevertheless, the fact remains, i sacrificed my career for someone i felt passionately in love with.

and it was a slippery slope from here on end. having suffered the repercussions of failing in my career, i've mostly given up on it. nowadays, i just see my work as a means to an end, a surefire way to earn money fortnightly, a source of paid vacations, and something to pass time from 7 to 4 monday to friday.

it isn't that bad. i could be doing better. but i screwed up that chance, life is about settling for what you're willing to have.

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