recreation

i haven't got my soul recently. three whole months of no writing here.

i was still writing though - for work, for school - in other places where my authenticity wasn't as valued as the approval of an authority. having responsibilities in the real world means being fake for the sake of a paycheck.

and really, what does a paycheck get us? shiny new things, filling food, fun pastimes. life revolves around the next unnecessary purchase or upcoming leisurely activity. the things we spend money are just as artificial as effort required to earn money.

the human soul will search for meaning. no matter how superficial or profound, purpose is our destination and fulfillment is our fuel. as idealized as we'd like to think of the story of our life is, we're just as imperfect. sometimes we're running full speed ahead, sometimes we're simply cruising along on an empty tank with the momentum we've built up. whatever happens, life always moves forward.

but every now and then we have to hit the breaks. cause rubber can't always meet the road - we'll thin out our tires too quickly.

and we only have one spare tire.

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