summertime

in an attempt to be a man of my word, as i desperately try to do at every turn. i'm listening to a japanese song as i try to fall asleep. a song which sounds too much like an opening theme to some cutesy anime.

the shit i put myself through to maintain human relationships.

the whole point of this is to somehow influence sleep quality to see if i look any better in the morning. this is one of the many nights of the lockdown, so might as well give it a try. admittedly, i have really bad sleep quality. nightmares are a commonplace. imagery of decapitation, gore, and abusive authority figures are constants of my evenings. if not for the necessity of sleep, i wouldn't be doing it at all. except for the times i'm thrown to work-related trips and i'm checked in at some swanky hotel accommodation, then i'm gonna sleep like a fucking boss. but those are few and far between, as with the good times in life.

it's difficult as fuck to focus on writing coherently and having to passively listen to the song on repeat.

there. i pressed pause. my head can hurt less now. onto to the more difficult task of sleeping.