eat me henger

I have a long standing battle with depression which might not seem apparent because i manage to look pretty damn whacky online. except in my blog. the thing about social media is that it merely gives you glimpses of what's going on in my life. and if you take a look at my blogs and isolate the short bursts of self-aware humor, i may seem like a fun loving human being. but that this farthest from the truth.  it's a miracle i haven't committed suicide by now. that, i guess is a testament to my utter weakness in being unable to have to power to take my own life. which i guess is how i've lived my life for the most part, i never really took control of it and let external factors direct it. and that's why i never felt that i deserved the good things that happened to me because i felt i never had a hand in setting things up for myself. you could make the case that i should take the first step in making my own direction, and i'm sure that would b

I was born under aries, but the prospect of going to a new destination leaves me anxious. I don't like being the absolute center of attention. Neither do I make any effort to be the life of the party. I wasn't born under taurus, but I diligently keep a personal book of cash flow I love being deeply rooted at home, so much so that I've wisely spent my disposable income on creature comforts that makes going out of the house unnecessary. I wasn't born under gemini, but i'm habitually indecisive and inconsistent. and seeing that I've been keeping a blog for more than a decade, it's safe to assume that I've done my share of talking I wasn't born under cancer, but i'm fiercely loyal beyond any sensible reason. I can sense where the other person is getting at and deeply feel emotional pain from any shade thrown at me. I wasn't born under leo, but i'm the personification of passion and pride. I wasn't born under virgo, bu

maybe this new site bodes better for me. but let's face it, i'm still the same person. i've been blogging for more than a decade and nothing much has changed - i'm still unnecessarily meandering, i still have a depressive air of heaviness, and i still try to poke in a bit of misplaced humor. but that's just me, and that's who i'll always probably be. and that's why the only thing different this time around is that i won't have the remnants of the crappy cbox i used to keep where my ex left a note, i won't have the stupid "summer na, tuli ka na ba?" title that i can't get rid of, and i won't have an embarrassing 10+ years worth of history to deal with - all of which, could easily be google-able, so good luck to my career in the future should my future employers wish to stalk me. but maybe i've grown a bit. i learned a thing or two about proper use of punctuation (i hope), i've probably gotten a wider vocabulary and a