eat me henger

the challenge for passionate writers nowadays is to not sound like artificial intelligence.  perhaps for most people that don't find joy in writing, chatgpt gets the job done. anyone going through the motions needing to fill a blank page with paragraphs could easily plug in a simple instruction to write a report, summarize something, elaborate anything. done with the day, everyone else can move on with what they truly want, or at least be the best of a bad situation. so when i see reports that reek of generative artificial intelligence, i'm disgusted, but i try to empathize that they just wanted the task off their to-do list. for better or worse, i'm not like them. i like the process of actually being on the edge of a typing cursor pushing my personal processing power to come up with the next word that make logical sense in the sentence, in the paragraph, and whatever grander thought i'm trying to capture. and i say "capture" because knowledge feels like magic...

in a fateful turn of events, my career shifted for the better.  i'm now working on the things i like, i'm actually working now, spending most of my day doing actual work. but not the same kind of work i used to do. before these large language models became a thing, i used to write everything from scratch. new word document every single time. it was tedious, but fun in a rouge-like kind of way. always challenging myself to create fresh. the challenge made my objective productivity comparatively less than what i'm able to do with the paid version of chatgpt. i'd like to think of paying for chatgpt as giving myself a pay cut to make my life easier. i essentially have an assistant that can suffer the tedium for me at such a rapid rate that most people can't deliver. what it then demands from me is that i need to have a pool of internal intel for it to process. without such essential ingredient, it's terribly generic, the intelligence is indeed artificial. i also nee...

my career has gone to shit in the past year or so. the system has not been conducive to maximize my talents. the my colleagues and superiors haven't been a pleasure to work with. the actual office space suffocates the hell out of my autism.  this point in my career is abhorrently demotivating. and i'm supposed to be blamed. no, not mismanagement. not the lack of discernment from those who actually understand my abilities, and still choose to not put me in the right place. to be fair, i haven't been playing along. the pre-existing dogma has been utterly ridiculous. i deliberately delay accomplishing tasks and ignoring instructions which i find to be an insult to my intelligence. most people will not understand why i choose not to perform with simple tasks. even an underpaid underling can do them. but see, that's the thing. it's below my pay grade, just as much as there are tasks that are above my pay grade. it's all about having a decently accurate assessment of ...